Whoops
by Naruyaoi
Summary: The Book of Fate has burned, and almost the entire Naruto cast has switched genders!
1. The Burning of the Book

Disclaimer: NaruYaoi does not own the characters or plotline of Naruto. NaruYaoi owns only their collective insane minds and ideas as well as the occasional original character. The Writers of NaruYaoi do not claim ownership over any copywrited material and simply write for fun. NaruYaoi is not making a profit off this story nor any like it.

A/N: OK, I admit it. We're crazy. After all, how else would you explain it when you write a gender bender? Well, I'm going to note here and now that not all of the cast had their genders switched, only most of them. For instance, Gai would only get scarier as a woman, so he stays male.

Writers: Mika and Tenchi

Warnings: Gender Bending and possible same-sex pairings

Prolog - The Burning of the Book

Fate looked down at the smoldering ashes of his book, the one thing that kept everything as it should be. "...Whoops."  
Karma stood beside, looking down at the ... once powerful book. Blinking she looked at her hand which held her lighter. Why she had it.. Well Karma didn't need a reason. "... So... Umm... yeah I got nothing..."  
"You do realize that all universes are now thoroughly fucked, right?"  
"... Well... it can't get worse.. Can it? I mean... it's just the fate of all the universes... I don't think anything horridly bad will happen." Karma pulled up her cig and placed into her mouth. " It'd could be worse and screw us over too..."  
Fate just looked at her and slowly walked away. She had a point, it wouldn't affect them, but he had to worry about everything else, since it was his job.


	2. The Chase! The Search for Konohamaru!

Disclaimer: NaruYaoi does not own the characters or plotline of Naruto. NaruYaoi owns only their collective insane minds and ideas as well as the occasional original character. The Writers of NaruYaoi do not claim ownership over any copywrited material and simply write for fun. NaruYaoi is not making a profit off this story nor any like it.

A/n: Mika is posting the first note, yippee. Okay so.. This thing came to use from a picture I found on deviantART. It took us a while to write it up (due to my laziness ;; ) but it was done before Christmas. Hmm.. I should probably hold a link here for the picture... but since I'm too damn lazy to go find it on my computer, everyone will have to wait. mm.. I really should stop flopping around and put some effort in things... eh maybe later...

Chapter One - The Chase! A Search for Konohamaru!

Sakura sat at a booth in the Ichiraiku Ramen and waited for the rest of his team. He'd shown up early in the hoped that he'd get a little bit of extra time with Sasuke-chan. No luck. He just ended up sitting alone for half an hour while he waited for everyone.

Naruto had bumped into Sasuke on her way here, bad thing too since she was hoping to see Sakura before she made it. Frowning and arguing most of the way, Naruto didn't notice Sakura was there once the ramen stand came to view. " I'm always stuck with you! It makes me look bad since all the boys melt each time you pass by, Datebayo! I don't see what's so great about you, you act all- hey, I found a coupon.." Ahh Naruto... when it came to ramen you automatically switch away.

Unlike Sasuke. She held the same expression as always. " Hn... dobe.." Sasuke kept beside Naruto until they actually walked into the stand and sat down, she was stuck between the dobe and the fanboy... great.  
"Sasuke-chan! I'm glad you made it." Sakura smiled at his teammate. "I'll pay for your ramen today, have what ever you like."

Sasuke looked out of the corner of her eye. " I'm not hungry..." She closed her eyes, letting thoughts run though but keeping her hearing out for anything important. Naruto stared for a moment before tossing a wrinkled napkin at Sasuke, letting it bounce off the side of her head. " You're emo..."

Naruto looked at Sakura with the same grin that everyone knew. " Don't buy her anything Sakura, it's wasting money! " Sasuke e had glared over at Naruto for the napkin thing, she didn't do anything though. 'Immature...'  
"Naruto! You need to stop being such an ass to Sasuke-chan!" Inside his head, Inner Sakura was raging on as well. Stupid Naruto! Just because she wasn't as pretty as Sasuke-chan, she's always trying to best her.  
Naruto was left wide-eyed and jaw hanging. " But! She's always refusing everything you do for her and stuff! She's an Emo self centered bitch, Datebayo!" Naruto was just hit back with the same napkin by Sasuke. " HEY!"

"You're loud, stupid, and annoying. We all have our problems." Sasuke had turned to face Naruto, giving him a cold hard glare. This didn't do much though.  
Naruto leaned over and glared back, a hand reaching up and pinching his cheek. " I hope you die or something." Sasuke reached up and pinched Naruto cheek as well.  
" You'll go down with me, Dobe"  
Sakura stood up and brought his fist down on top of the blond girl's head. "Naruto! Leave Sasuke-chan alone!"  
Naruto let go of Sasuke's cheek and fell to the ground with a thud. Her hand came up and held the top of her head. " What!? She deserves it, Sakura-kun!"  
Sasuke sighed and turned back to face the wall on the other side of the counter. Why was she placed in this team? Damnit all, she was really better off alone. " Just leave it be Sakura."  
"If you say so, Sasuke-chan."  
At that moment, a rather buxom, silver-haired kunoichi entered the ramen stand. "Yo, sorry I'm late, but there was this really hot guy and I had to get his phone number." Kakashi smiled and rubbed the back of her head.  
Naruto managed to crawl back onto her seat and stare at Kakashi in disbelief. "... Man.. You suck at lying..."  
Sasuke couldn't help but agree on the inside, heh, like hell she'll admit it out loud. " So.. why are we here?"  
"Well, you see, the Hokage wants us to go on a mission for him."  
"Sugoi! What's the mission, Kaka-sensei?"  
"We have to catch Konohamaru-chan!"

"Whaa? Can't Udon and Moegi get her?"  
"They see you as a leader... "

"Yeah... and?"

" Dobe..."

" Teme!"  
Naruto growled and stuck his tongue out at Sasuke, who didn't pay much attention to it really. That got Naruto even more annoyed. " Man, you make me wonder sometimes."  
Sasuke scoffed " You cause everyone headaches, and get on others nerves. No one likes you, so quiet".  
Naruto Jumped at Sasuke. " GAH! "  
Kakashi reached out and nabbed Naruto by the back of her bright orange jacket. "Now, now, Naruto-chan," she said with a smile, "let's just go get Konohamaru, mmm?"  
Sakura nodded his agreement. "Kaka-sensei is right. We need to do this mission"

Naruto fumed, arms crossed over her chest and a pout to tag along with it. " I still don't see why they can't ask the other two to do it. It's a waste of time! It'll probably take like.. five minuets! Datebayo!"  
Sasuke didn't have anything to say. She wanted to get this over and done with. ' Running around like we're playing tag and possibly getting kicked in the knee... great."  
"Stop you're complaining, Naruto. Think of it this way, it's easy cash." Kakashi gave her grin again and started to walk off towards where Konohamaru was supposed playing.

Naruto followed along, staying beside Sakura. " Hey Sakura-kun, wanna help me get that brat so that we can go and do something else?" Naruto gleamed slightly while asking. How did he stay so hyper was a question that everyone wanted the answer too.  
Sasuke dug her hands into her pockets as she walked. She took a deep breath and let it out as a heavy sigh. Every mission had its little lessons; he just wondered what this one was going to teach.  
"I'll help because it's a mission, Naruto. I DO NOT want to go anywhere with you afterwards!"

Naruto felt as if she'd been shot in the shoulder. ' All Sasuke's fault.. damnit... stupid teme...' She lingered behind Kakashi, Sakura, and Sasuke. Naruto did try her hardest to be something in Sakura's eyes other than some annoyance, ah, at least she was a friend to him... right?

Sasuke simply sneezed.

"Let's get going then," the voluptuous female sensei said as she continued to lead her team. She had a 'don't interfere with love triangle' policy with her team. They'd all figure it out in the end.

Later...

Naruto was told to basically stay back on this one, since he screwed up on their last mission. She pouted while fiddling with the short orange jacket. Naruto didn't bother to hide her seal with a shirt or anything, everyone knew, so who cared? She kicked the dirt and watched as the others ran around trying to catch the young girl. " She's gotten faster... hehe, must've rubbed offa me."

Sasuke wasn't having a good time, at all. This small girl was fast and tricky. Damn, she wasn't prepared for this one. " Get back here." She ran after the small girl that was barely out of her reach. " Heh" Sasuke dived and caught the now squirming Konohamaru. "Kakashi, I g-"

" Get offa me, you old Lady!" Konohamaru turned far enough to actually and painfully bite the Uchiha girl in the.. well.. boob.

"FUCK!" Getting bite on the boob was about the equivalent of being shanked. In other words, it hurt like a mother.  
Sakura ran up and grabbed the girl. "Got you!"  
Konohamaru pouted and squirmed. " Gah! Cooties!" Konohamaru stopped and grinned. She went limp, as if tired. " Fine, take my fun away, Loserface!" Konohamaru brought her head up quickly, making it bump against Sakura's. It hurt her more than it would to Sakura, but it was worth a try. Sakura dropped the child with a yelp, holding his forehead.  
"You little Brat!" Inner Sakura was getting a chance to come out. "When I catch you you're going to wish you'd never been born!!" The pink-haired male began to chase the little girl around.  
Konohamaru laughed as she ran away. " Hahahaha! C'mon, old man! You can run faster than th- Ack!" Konohamaru bumped straight into Naruto, making the blond girl look down and blink. She grinned and picked up the small girl.  
" Hehe Hey! Nice way of making Sasuke-teme look like a loser. But you need to stop messing around now! Grandpa is going to get mad at us for not getting you in, datebayo! So stop being and idiot and calm down." Naruto set Konohamaru down; surprisingly the girl stayed, but turned and held up a fist.

"Man, boss! You have to ruin my fun! I could've learned some cool ninja moves from those two if I got them mad enough!"

" Geh?" Naruto planted a fist onto Konohamaru's head. " Baka! You don't want to learn anything from Sasuke-teme!"  
Sakura swatted the back of Naruto's head. He would have punched, but that might have caused the blond to lose her grip on the small child. "Gaki! Don't call Sasuke a teme!"  
" OW! Jesus, Sakura-kun, do you have to hit hard? Gneh." Naruto rubbed the back of her head, making the blond hair ruffle out of place.

Sasuke walked up and stood by, looking (more like glaring) at Konohamaru. The small girl looked back and stuck her tongue out at Sasuke with a grin, clearly showing that she was proud of what she did to her. Sasuke reached and pulled her shirt slightly, looking down to see how hard the child bit. " Damnit..." It wasn't too hard, but there was going to be a bruise in the shape of a bite mark.  
"Are you alright, Sasuke-chan?" Sakura asked. She would have peered over the Uchiha's shoulder, but didn't want to be accused of peeking.  
" I'm fine Sakura." She let go of her shirt and shoved her hands back into her pockets. " Good job, Naruto."  
Naruto blinked and grinned. " Hehe, you did pretty well too, Sasuke!"

Sasuke smiled slightly and turned on her heel. " I'm guessing we take the child to Tsunade?"

Naruto tilted her head and looked for Kakashi. " HEY! Sensei!?... bah... prolly reading that stupid book."

Konohamaru crossed her arms and nodded along with Naruto.. though the girl didn't know what was going on.  
Kakashi looked up from her book. "Oh, I see you've caught the little vixen then... Back to Hokage-sama." The silver-haired woman tucked her book away since they would likely have to keep an eye on the little girl.

Sasuke walked off ahead of the rest, she didn't want the boob biting annoyance to be anywhere near her. The black hair swayed ever so slightly, Sasuke pulled off the sad cool look naturally. It made Naruto's stomach turn, why was she so moody all the damn time?! It pissed her off, she looked like the town moron compared to her. The narrowed eyes looked away and turned to Sakura. ' Guh...'. Sakura always protected the stupid bitchy.. Blah. It was a waste of time, she didn't care if he defended her or not...

" Hey Sakura..." Naruto had her hand behind her head. " Why do you like Sasuke anyways, I don't see anything to melt over."  
"Gaki. That's because you're a girl. Naturally you wouldn't see any reason to be attracted to another girl. Honestly, Naruto, you're such a baka at times." The pink-haired Nin lifted his head slightly and let his green eyes drop to Sasuke's slightly swaying hips before blushing and looking up again. 'Yes!' Inner Sakura cheered. 'Sasuke-chan has such nice hips!'  
Naruto frowned and looked away with a 'Hn'. She looked to the ground and though for a moment. Quickly going into a jog, Naruto ran up behind Sasuke. She snickered slightly.

"What are you doing you DoOBE!?" Naruto had moved her arms under Sasuke's and frankly punched her boobs together. (For guys who read this, think of getting smacked in the crotch with high heels).

" HEHE! Guess they aren't fake!"

" You!... " Sasuke trembled as she held her arms in a crossed position in front of her chest. " What the hell do you think you were doing?"

" Seeing if they were real- shit!" Naruto took off in a sprint while laughing as Sasuke trailed after with anger.

" HAHA! Some one's on the rag!" Oy Naruto.. you aren't afraid to say anything are you...  
"NARUTO!" Sakura was right behind the black-haired Uchiha, intent on doing bodily injury to the blond Kunoichi. "How dare you do that to Sasuke-chan!" This, unfortunately left Konohamaru-chan with Kakashi, who was once again immersed in her book. Only now, she had a little girl peering over her shoulder to read it too.  
" Neh? Kakashi, what does this word mean?" Konohamaru pointed at a letter in the book. " And what are they doing?" The small child had a look of disgust and curiosity, what do expect from some one at such a young age?

" Hehehe! C'mon you two!"

Sasuke did a couple of hand signs and disappeared in a puff of smoke, only to reappear above Naruto and catching her with a thud. "Dobe..." She sat on the blond, with a foot planted on her head. Naruto was trying hard not to inhale dirt.  
"That word, Konohamaru-chan, refers to what's between a woman's legs." Kakashi gave her famous arched eye smile as she continued to explain the book to the child.  
Sakura was too busy yelling at Naruto to notice that Kakashi was polluting an innocent mind. She finished yelling at Naruto before turning and smiling at Sasuke. "I'm sorry about that, Sasuke-chan. I should have been keeping a better eye on the gaki."

" Meh." Sasuke got up and dusted off her pants before turning to see Kakashi, her eyes went instantly wide. " What... are you doing to her...?"

Naruto got up and spat out a few rocks and turned to see what Sasuke was talking about. "Wh-..." She flinched slightly so see their sensei teaching the small girl other things about the book. " Perv, She's only a kid! Nobody wants to see that!"  
Sakura turned around to see what had his teammates so riled up. His jaw dropped and she immediately went over and plucked Konohamaru from Kakashi's shoulder. "HENTAI! YOU DON"T TELL LITTLE KIDS ABOUT THINGS LIKE THAT!! IT'S UNETHICAL AND COMPLETELY DISGUSTING!"  
"Now now, the silver-haired woman tried to calm her student down. "She asked, and so I answered. Besides, it's not like I told her anything too bad.."  
".. Man, no wonder you don't have kids..." Naruto stood up and walked over to take the small girl away from Sakura. " C'mon Konohamaru, Tsunade will kills us if he ever knew you were learning stuff like that. "

The small child nodded and climbed to sit on Naruto's shoulders, the scarf hanging down all the way to the middle of the blonds back. She pointed towards the direction of their walking, proclaiming some thing about ' a look out nin' only to have Naruto come back with a small comment about ' killing us if you were a look out Nin'

Sasuke shook her head and followed after, she didn't really say anything after that. Only the occasional sarcastic comments and such. Sakura trailed behind his female teammates, mostly to keep an eye on the perverted jounin, but also so that he could watch Sasuke's rear a little more.  
Sasuke began to let her thoughts wander. Nothing bad was going to happen to them, so frankly, she also somewhat zoned out. Sasuke still had the hard cold look like always, but she wasn't paying any real attention to anyone or anything. Naruto on the other hand was completely.. well.. no.. never mind, she was the same way. Konohamaru was bopping the small blond girl over the head repetitively, wanting her to answer a question.

" Naruto! Hey! Gah, you're stupid."

"You're nine, and act like a boy."  
"... You're ugly"

"You little twerp! If it weren't for Tsunade, I'd drop you in some ditch"

"You don't mean that!"

"You pulled my hair"

"You ignored me"

" You both need to learn how to shut up. Konohamaru, keep talking to the Dobe, and you'll be become one. Naruto, if you keep talking, you'll eventually drop all of our IQ's down to the negatives." Naruto and Konohamaru turned to stare at the now slightly mumbling Sasuke.  
"Maa, maa. Stop bickering so much. You sound like an old married couple." The Copy Nin did her little arched eye smile and wiggled her fingers at the two women.

Naruto stared at Sasuke for a moment, trying to picture how that would be, no more than a few seconds had passed when she saw a mental image of old Sasuke. " ... HAHAHA! YOU'D LOOK SO UGLY, DATEBAYO!" Naruto didn't really have to explain what she pictured.

Sasuke blinked a few times before receiving the same picture Naruto had in mind.

"..."

Sasuke felt a bit ill, she was never one to care for looks really, but no one would want to end up old and wrinkly...but.. then again,, Naruto would end up the same way really.

" Oy, Dobe. Just think about How you'd look."

Naruto fell silent and began to walk away, not wanting to hear more about being old. " Eww..."  
Sakura bopped the blond nin over the head. "You shouldn't insult Sasuke-chan like that, dobe! She's going to age gracefully and you'll be a wrinkled old crone!"

Naruto rubbed her head and stared up at Sakura. " Damnit, try seeing it from my point of view! She's like..." Naruto thought for a moment, trying to compare her point of view to his.

" Ah! Sasuke is like.. mm.. like Ino is to you!" Jesus Naruto, stay quiet for a while, please.  
"Ino's my pal, even if we insult each other, it's not really with an intent to hurt the other. Not that a stupid blond bimbo like you would understand."

Naruto pouted and crossed her arms. " I'm not a Bimbo.."

Konohamaru had stayed quiet through out the time, letting her chin rest on Naruto's head, her legs dangling as she listened.

" Hey... What's a bimbo?"  
"You'll find out when you're older, pipsqueak." Sakura said, pointed turning his face away from the inquisitive young girl.  
Konohamaru frowned and tossed her shoe at Sakura's head. " I'm not a pipsqueak, stupid!"

Naruto looked up at Konohamaru with a sort of 'Damnit child, get off me now before he hits me even though it's your fault'. It didn't do anything, children never did listen.  
"Naruto! Keep that little brat under control!" And thus started a very typical chase between the two. Sakura's battle aura blazing and Naruto running around trying to cover her head. Kakashi sighed behind her mask.

Sasuke watched, chuckling mentally to her self. Konohamaru had hopped off Naruto and stood by Sasuke, holding her pants as she hid behind the Black haired girl from the pink hair monster.

" I didn't even do anything that time Sakura-kun!" Naruto ran by, looking for a place to take shelter at.

" They should stop fooling around... Tsunade is expecting us and will take his annoyance out on us if we arrive late." Sasuke watched for a bit longer, Konohamaru hiding behind her legs.  
Kakashi sighed and walked calmly over to the two who were racing about and grabbed them both by the scruff of the neck and pulled them apart. "Fight later, Hmm? We've got to report to Tsunade-sama before he decides to rant, yes?"  
Naruto latched tightly onto Kakashi's arm, nodding quickly. She was happy that Kakashi had stopped Sakura. Sasuke walked past the three, the small child behind him. "Sakura, learn to control impulses like that..."  
"I'll try, Sasuke-chan!" the pink-haired man promised, tailing after the raven-haired girl.  
Naruto let go of their Sensei and took after the pink haired boy. " Wait for me Sakura-kun!"

" AH! Get the Monster away! He's scary!"

"Can you stop whining? Go to Naruto."

" I don't want her! She gets me in trouble that I don't start!"

" You both are mean!"

" Ai, go away."   
"Maa, you're all so rowdy today," Kakashi said with her usual smile. When they finally reached the Hokage's office, the large blond man was fuming.  
"And what the HELL took you all so long this time!!" he shouted, a vein pulsing clearly next to the diamond mark on his forehead.  
Sasuke flinched back as well as Naruto. Sasuke straightened up and looked at the small child with annoyance. " Konohamaru gave us some trouble, we thought that Naruto would only screw things up so we made her stay behind. Ironically, she was the one to catch her with out moving as much..." Black eyes moved from the child to the gleeful Naruto.

" Hehe, goes to show that some times you do need me!"  
"Note the word, _sometimes_, Dobe," Sakura scoffed.  
The fifth Hokage sighed and looked down at the little girl who caused all the problems. "I don't know how your grandmother dealt with you, but I respect the Sandime enough that I won't do wrong by her grandchild."  
Konohamaru smiled and turned to Naruto. " That was fun, we should play like that again, I think it helped my speed an-" Naruto bonked Konohamaru on the head lightly.

" We re not going to do that again, and it wasn't playing!" The blond crossed her arms and stared down at the girl. " If you want to work on your skills, then go off and find Udon and Moegi. You three can train with each other." She grinned and patted the small girl on the head. " Kay?"

Konohamaru held a frown before grinning. " Kay."

Sasuke rolled her eyes, she wanted to leave. "Are you done?"  
"You can go. Konohamaru-chan, you're staying here for a while until your trainer gets back." The Hokage dismissed them all with a wave of his hand.  
" What?! I can handle myself! I don't need sensei!" Konohamaru stomped her foot as the group began to leave. Naruto looked back and giggled lightly. Konohamaru was brave for a child. Sasuke turned towards Kakashi wanting to know if there was anything else needed before they could all be dismissed.  
"Konohamaru-chan, don't force me to tie you up again!" and that was the last heard before the door shut. Kakashi looked at her genin team.  
"Well, all things considered, you didn't do too bad, now scat. Relax a little before our next mission." With that simple statement, their sensei disappeared in a puff of smoke.  
Sakura turned hopefully to his dark-haired companion. "Sasuke-chan, would you like to go for lunch, or maybe dinner? My treat."  
"No, I have something else planned." Sasuke shoved her hands into her pockets; the raven color bangs falling over her eyes as she moved to leave the tower.

Naruto stayed silent, as she looked form Sasuke to Sakura back to Sasuke and back to Sakura. " ... That was.. a nice way to reject some one.." Naruto placed her hands on her hips as she made a face at the Back of Sasuke's head.  
Sakura sighed and decided not to try and push it today. Maybe trying to get a rise out of Ino about his teammates would cheer him up some.


End file.
